


Take My Hand

by Robyn_in_the_air



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, During Hogwarts Era, Even if he didn't understand him, Regulus loved Sirius, Regulus wanted to make Sirius proud, Sirius was a good big brother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 11:18:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11758716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robyn_in_the_air/pseuds/Robyn_in_the_air
Summary: After years of abuse, Sirius finally makes the decision to run away from his family. There's only one problem.He doesn't want to leave Regulus.“Leave with me,” he blurted at the same time as Regulus cried desperately, “Stay.”They looked at each other. Sirius wondered if he’d ever seen Regulus look this scared. Once again, they said at the same time, “I can’t.”





	Take My Hand

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is very heavily based on something I saw on Pinterest, so if you've seen that, then the dialogue in this might look familiar.

He was going to do it. This was the day. He couldn't take it anymore, living in this miserable house and miserable family. It was too much now - too much to hold onto the notion that one day,  _one day_ , they'd be proud of him,  _one day,_  they'd care _, one day,_ they'd say,  _We love you, Sirius, no matter what house some stupid hat chooses for you, we love you for who you are._

_One day._

But it was never going to happen. And now he wasn't sure if he even wanted it to.

He knew what his parents thought of muggles, and their newfound fascination with this  _Dark Lord_ terrified him more than he cared to tell his friends.

So he stood there, the screeching voice of his mother, the reprimanding, condescending tone of his father echoing in his ears, his face stinging and body aching from the beating his father had just given him and made a decision. He was fourteen now, old enough to live on his own, and even if he wasn't, he was sure James's parents wouldn't mind taking him in. It was all sorted. He would be fine. There was only one problem.

Regulus.

His little brother had always been their parents' favorite even before they started attending Hogwarts. Quiet and reserved, studious and obedient, Reg embodied the perfect son Walburga and Orion Black had expected when they'd had Sirius. But he was still young, still susceptible to change. He'd always been at least the tiniest bit conflicted, and Sirius knew that watching his older brother,  _his unbreakable big brother,_ weep at the hands of their father had broken him just a little. 

He had discovered this a long time ago, when he was still young and didn't want his tiny little brother to see him cry, so he'd tried his best to make sure he and his father were alone whenever it happened. Regulus didn't need to see the monstrosities that occurred in his family, not when he was so young,  _just twelve._

He walked calmly to his room, fully aware of Regulus, pale and wide-eyed, standing in the doorway. This was maybe the third time he had ever seen Orion lay a hand on Sirius and it shook him. He'd always known his parents weren't completely  _good,_ and he'd lie awake at night sometimes, wondering  _why they hated Siri so much,_ but the level of  _loathing_ he'd seen today brought him to tears. The sight of his brother angrily packing his trunk only made it worse.

Both of them knew what was happening. And they'd both seen it coming.

Sirius stopped. Sighed.

Regulus held his breath.

He collapsed onto the bed and looked around his room, taking in the Gryffindor colors, the posters of half naked women that he'd put up for no other reason than to spite his parents.

He buried his face in his hands and let out a half-hysterical laugh. Looked up at Regulus.

"Leave with me," he blurted at the same time as Regulus cried desperately, "Stay."

They looked at each other. Sirius wondered if he'd ever seen Regulus look this scared. Once again, they said at the same time, "I can't."

The silence was only broken by Regulus's broken sobs.

Sirius had never seen Regulus cry this heartbrokenly, had only ever seen him shy and confused, innocent and  _his precious little brother._

He had to go.

So he steeled himself, threw the rest of his clothes into the trunk and stood in the middle of the bedroom, fighting the urge to engulf Regulus,  _Reggie,_  into a bone-crushing hug.

" _Siri! Siri, where are you?"_

" _I'm right here, Reggie, calm down," Sirius assured him. He steadied Regulus's hands on the broom to stop the trembling._

" _Siri, they'll come back, and they'll see, we can't-"_

" _Reg. Calm. Down. It'll be alright, you know they're at Uncle Alphard's Manor and they always take forever there. Just concentrate on balancing on the broom."_

_Regulus glanced at Sirius worriedly one more time, then focused his attention on not falling off his brother's broom._

" _Good, now use your hands to steer - no not that far!" He yelled as Regulus almost toppled over._

" _Sorry! Sorry, I don't know, Siri," Regulus bit his lip nervously and straightened the broom._

" _It's okay, Reggie, practice makes perfect, right? Come on, try again," Sirius encouraged._

_Regulus took a deep breath and gently maneuvered the broom through the air. "I"m doing it! Look, Siri, I'm doing it!" He exclaimed._

" _I know you are, Reggie," Sirius laughed. "Now come on down, they'll be back soon."_

" _Ok," Regulus breathed, still on a high from the flying._

_As soon as he touched down, he barreled into Sirius and wrapped his arms around him. "Thanks, Siri," he mumbled shyly into his brother's shirt._

_Sirius, still not entirely sure what was happening - Regulus had never been the overly emotional type - hugged his brother tightly and closed his eyes._

" _You're welcome, Reggie," he smiled._

_Breaking out of Sirius's hold, Regulus asked curiously, "Why do you call me Reggie?"_

" _Why do you call me Siri?" He countered._

" _No - I mean - I haven't been that great of - of a brother to you? I mean, Mother and Father yell at you and -" he frowned, then continued, "- and I don't really do anything - and I'm sorry, I_ am _, I just get really scared -"_

" _You're only 10, Reggie. I don't expect you to do anything like that. Besides, I'm fine. And the only reason I call you Reggie is so you can be someone other than what Mother and Father want you to be_ all the time _." Sirius reassured._

 _Regulus, looking anywhere but at Sirius, said softly, "Siri, you know I don't really care that you're in Gryffindor, right? I mean, sure it would have been nice if you got into Slytherin, but it doesn't matter_ that  _much."_

_Sirius felt tears prick his eyes, "I know, Reggie. I know."_

"Are you going to come back?" Regulus asked, knowing the answer but unable to stop himself from asking.

"You know I'm not, Reggie, I can't. Didn't you see what - what happened out there?" He looked at his brother incredulously.

"I know," Regulus sobbed, "I just -  _Sirius."_ He inhaled sharply and turned away, struggling to keep his composure. After taking a few deep breaths, he turned back, and this time spoke steadily.

"Go, then."

Sirius stared at his brother. His  _Slytherin_ brother, who was probably the only thing he loved in this entire house. His brother, who ignored him at school, but didn't participate in any teasing. HIs brother, whom he taught how to fly on a broom, his brother, who had just told him to  _go._

"Thank you."

Regulus nodded, his jaw clenched tight.

Sirius walked to his brother, memorizing his brother's face. He finally wrapped his arms around him.

"I love you, Reggie," he said dully, and let go.

Sirius spelled his trunk shut, and carried it the door. Glancing one more time at the dismal walls of his childhood home, of the door to his father's study that Orion had locked himself into, he sighed.

He walked to the door, about to open it, when he heard Regulus say, "you too, Siri."

* * *

Regulus never forgot that night. Never.

He remembered it when he made himself ignore his brother at Hogwarts, he remembered it as he schooled his face into an expressionless mask after hearing the Howler his parents had sent Sirius. 

He remembered that night for the last time when he made the decision to destroy one of Voldemort's Horcruxes. 

 

He remembered it as he thought:  _Are you proud of me, Siri?_

* * *

Thanks for reading, comment if you liked it!


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